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18-Jun-2018 12:57

Ten to one, she'll think you said a dozen cups and saucers, and be genuinely surprised if you put her to work cleaning up even one police officer, let alone all the others, and the magicians, too.

There are no officers, no meetings, no convention, and, worst of all, from the point of view of the author and founder, no dues. ________,* who, while learning to understand spoken English, was continually bewildered and embarrassed by the similarity of such expressions as boys and girls and poisoned gulls, used to exclaim: "Gracious! If it wasn't [sic] for the different situations in which we hear 'em, we'd have a terrible time saying which was which." Of course, these may not have been the professor's exact words, because he often did his exclaiming in Anguish rather than in English. You can easily prove this, right in the privacy of your own kitchen, by asking a friend to help you wash up a dozen cops and sorcerers.

This will give you an unexpected chance to use the last two words.

You'd be surprised to know how many people haven't the faintest idea what a xyster is until they hear a SPAL member talking about his fodder, murder, broader, and xyster. When they do, they find that, although xyster* in Anguish, may mean sister, in English it's nothing in the world but a common raspatorium.

Chances are that everyone will be so fascinated by the graceful form of your question that not even your hostess will attach much importance to what you've asked. Anguish relieves that terrible craving to tell dialect stories.

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